Zane Owly
New Member
The Sister Child
ROCKEN' IT IN UNI!!!! It's nice to be 18.
Posts: 578
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Post by Zane Owly on Aug 3, 2009 15:23:50 GMT
Brought an old character back.
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Trygon
New Member
Doesn't afraid of anything
I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a scary face.
Posts: 10,386
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Post by Trygon on Aug 4, 2009 18:53:54 GMT
- Generate snow: Rejected for 'unlimited'
- Ice shards: What is the firing rate?
- Fox call: Where do the foxes come from? How long do they stay for?
- Ice shield: What kind of attacks does this block?
- Ice from below: What is the radius of this attack? What would the amount of ice spikes be?
Also could you tell us what she looks like and a bit more about her past?
also check your grammer in her profile.
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Zane Owly
New Member
The Sister Child
ROCKEN' IT IN UNI!!!! It's nice to be 18.
Posts: 578
|
Post by Zane Owly on Aug 5, 2009 17:08:23 GMT
Sorted.
Plus, grammar doesn't have an e in it.
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Trygon
New Member
Doesn't afraid of anything
I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a scary face.
Posts: 10,386
|
Post by Trygon on Aug 5, 2009 17:37:08 GMT
Approved. Though I think you should increase the radius for the fox call, or make it so that the foxes are spirit beings or something. I mean if she used this ability in the city, she would ether not get any foxes coming at all, or have to wait hours for them to get to her.
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Zane Owly
New Member
The Sister Child
ROCKEN' IT IN UNI!!!! It's nice to be 18.
Posts: 578
|
Post by Zane Owly on Aug 5, 2009 17:52:39 GMT
Is that better.
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Trygon
New Member
Doesn't afraid of anything
I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a scary face.
Posts: 10,386
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Post by Trygon on Aug 5, 2009 18:27:49 GMT
Much better. Approved.
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Zane Owly
New Member
The Sister Child
ROCKEN' IT IN UNI!!!! It's nice to be 18.
Posts: 578
|
Post by Zane Owly on Sept 6, 2009 17:42:18 GMT
New character added.
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Trygon
New Member
Doesn't afraid of anything
I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a scary face.
Posts: 10,386
|
Post by Trygon on Sept 6, 2009 18:02:12 GMT
Where did she grow up in? Why did the people hate golems? They sound too much like mere plot devices in her history. You will need to expand. Reword Self preservation. Add a power to explain how she puts herself together.
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Zane Owly
New Member
The Sister Child
ROCKEN' IT IN UNI!!!! It's nice to be 18.
Posts: 578
|
Post by Zane Owly on Sept 6, 2009 23:26:24 GMT
Edited details and added power.
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Trygon
New Member
Doesn't afraid of anything
I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a scary face.
Posts: 10,386
|
Post by Trygon on Sept 6, 2009 23:31:47 GMT
approved.
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Zane Owly
New Member
The Sister Child
ROCKEN' IT IN UNI!!!! It's nice to be 18.
Posts: 578
|
Post by Zane Owly on Oct 18, 2009 0:57:31 GMT
New character added.
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Trygon
New Member
Doesn't afraid of anything
I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a scary face.
Posts: 10,386
|
Post by Trygon on Oct 18, 2009 1:09:32 GMT
Approved.
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Zane Owly
New Member
The Sister Child
ROCKEN' IT IN UNI!!!! It's nice to be 18.
Posts: 578
|
Post by Zane Owly on Nov 15, 2009 22:12:40 GMT
New character added
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Trygon
New Member
Doesn't afraid of anything
I'm not a dictator. It's just that I have a scary face.
Posts: 10,386
|
Post by Trygon on Nov 17, 2009 18:52:57 GMT
Approved.
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